Mikey Owen

Football fans worldwide (Liverpool fans & otherwise alike) must been wondering this when the news of England international & ex-Liverpool striker, Michael Owen choosing Newcastle over reigning Super Euro Champs, Liverpool broke:

"OMFG! WTF?!?!?! What was Mikey thinking !?!?!? Has he lost his mind?"

Personally, I dun care a rat's ass about Owen cos he doesn't add anything to the team. It's pretty easy to read his mind. Here's how I see it...

It all started back in season 03/04, urguably his worst season in his whole career:
"Darn it, we lost again. How many corners must we turn to get a good run of form? Houllier says the next match is gonna be the final corner....i hope he's right..."

Close season 03/04:
"Fuck lah, we played like shit this season...i get crap support...how to score goals like this? We barely finished 4th...sigh...."

"Ohhh, the board finally sacked that fat french fuck. They got this spanish dude but surely Liverpool is not going to win anything next season...I think I'll NOT sign the contract offered & threaten to do a Bosman..."

"Hmmm, Real Madrid is big, hig-profile club, I'll be one of the galacticos. Furthermore, Becks is there, I should have no problems adapting to Spanish life..."

At Real Madrid, season 04/05:
“These spanish are crazy. We change 3 managers already. Every time they change coaches, I have to work harder to impress the new guy. Can't laze around like back in Liverpool”

"I'm on-form & I'm scoring lots more than than Ronaldo & Raul, the fans absolutely adore me....why am I still warming the bench???"

On Champs League 04/05:
“Shock, we just got knocked out by Juventus...it's like playing for Liverpool again...sigh the disappointment...fucking italians"

“Juventus gonna play Liverpool in the Quarters. Haha, Liverpool is sure gonna lose….they dun stand a chance against those boring Italian fucks”

“OMFG, Liverpool beat Juventus!”

“Chelsea vs Liverpool….called stevieG & Carra, told them this is where the dream ends….”

“Liverpool thru to the Finals? How did that happened?!?!? Nvrmind, Milan’s gonna totally destroy them…no fight…haha”

“Darn it, Liverpool just won the Champions League... what a crazy match! Fuck, if I had only stayed in Liverpool this season….sigh….oh well, next season Real Madrid is gonna win it and I’ll have a medal of my own, haha”

End season 04/05:
“Errr...why is Real Madrid buying Robinho & Julio Baptista? Do we need so many strikers? What’s with the fascination with Brazilians? The manager is Brazilian also”

“Buying more strikers means somebody is going… Raul will be sold since he performed the poorest last season! Haha…lazy fuck, it’s high time he buggered off… talismanic captain my ass….”

“Hmmm, I have loads to teach Robinho since he's a boy-wonder just like me… 2 boy-wonders on the pitch…we will score loads next season, woo hoo!”

“Just spoke to the coach… in total shock now….He told me I’m not 1st choice striker….seems like I’m gonna warm the bench more this season… Fucking Brazilians…it’s a conspiracy!!!”

“It’s a WORLD CUP year. I have to play games so that sucky Sven will pick me”

“Hmmm, the press is going crazy over Djibril Cisse’s recent lost of form…the Liverpool fans will definitely welcome me back with open arms”

“Rafa is the best manager I’ve seen…I have to work with him….with me in Liverpool, we gonna win Champs League again”

“Everton came for me….yeah rite, like I want to join the blueshits….Dream on, Moyes…they cant never afford to pay me”

“Shit, deadline coming up soon! I need a club quick! Why is there no clubs bidding for me?!!?!? Where’s Chelsea, ManU, Arsenal? Where’s Liverpool? What about other top European clubs? Why is there only a Newcastle offer?”

“Begged Rafa & Parry to place a bid for me. They finally agreed. But they’re not willing to pay more than the ?8 million they paid to Real Madrid….damn I hope Newcastle dun up their bid…”

"WTF….Newcastle offered ?16 million… Real Madrid told me they are not selling me to Liverpool at ?8 million. Tomorrow is the deadline.”

“Talked terms with Newcastle. Shearer offered to buy me ice-cream & bring me around. He even offered me his no. 9 jersey. Err….I declined….I dun have a thing for used sweaty jerseys…”

“Shit, still no news from Liverpool, looks like they are not matching Newcastle’s offer…”

“Sigh…. I guess I’ll take the Newcastle offer.... Newcastle is crap. They are not gonna win anything, ever…. Sigh…. After the World Cup, I’ll find some way to escape from Newcastle…”

No club in the world would want to spend 16 mils on a player that they sold away for 8 mils last season. That’s like an 8 mils loss. Not a very financially sound decision…

Liverpool has 5 strikers. Why the hell do we need another? It’s true the strikers are not scoring…everybody has bad form….but once the form is back, the goals would come…. What if Liverpool paid 16 mils on Owen and he went on a half season bad form run?

Commitment. Apparently it’s lacking in Owen. He doesn’t want to play for Liverpool. He just wants a club that will give him money & medals. Go suck Roman Abramovich’s cock lah…

I’ll choose Cisse over Owen. Ask me today, ask me tomorrow, ask me next year. Cisse is better than Owen.