flat·u·lence 1) The presence of excessive gas in the digestive tract. 2) Self-importance; pomposity.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Speech! Speech!

Unbeknownst to many, I made a speech yesterday, haha.

We had this big lucky draw thing every year and yesterday was the lucky draw ceremony. My boss supposed to fly in for the draw and he was supposed to give the speech. But unfortunately all flights to Phnom Penh were fully booked so I have to stand in.

Writing the speech was easy, since the contents are the same corporate crap. The only difference was that instead of hearing it, it's actually coming out from my mouth.

The problem is the language. The speech is in English. The locals attending the ceremony do not know English. My staff/emcee is supposed to translate my speech to them in Khmer. I was supposed to say a few lines, she say it in Khmer, then repeat again until speech ends.

Relatively simple process, rite? Wrong.

I went up, smiled, started the speech. First few lines went off brilliantly, watever I said, she translated. Then after I finished next paragraph, she turned to me and asked me,

Emcee: Is that new?
Me: Huh?
Emcee: I can't find it.
Me: Did you translate? You did, rite?
Emcee: Yeah, already but I can't find it.
Me: I'm here. This paragraph.
Emcee: But I can't find it. Where is it?

She showed me a crumpled, dog-earred paper with messy Khmer words. I shot her my "WTF?!?! Is that my problem?" look. I dont read Khmer! How am I supposed to know where it is? Apparently it was my problem, cos crowd was starting to snicker and we are looking seriously silly on stage. I guess it's just naivety on my part to believe she could do a relatively simple job like translate my speech, arrange her translated Khmer text nicely on a piece of paper and just follow my lead...Anyways, we were standing up on stage, looking like idiots, looking totally unprofessional but the show must go on. So..

Me: Ok, nevermind. I'm at the 2nd paragraph, just continue and translate on-the-spot if you can't find it.

She barely made it thru the impromptu translation, then she manage to locate the next few paragraphs on her paper and we ended the speech without any problems.

After the lucky draw, the ppl attacked the food. The sandwiches were gone in 2 minutes. No kidding. They must have been real hungry. Checkout the photos below:

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
"food....where's the food...." - Hungry Hordes of Phnom Penh

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
cool guy in front

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
"i can't find it" emcee & "the partially blocked" me


Anonymous said...

the picture is too small so can't see properly. was the emcee hot?
how come you don't tell us much about how you're doing with the cambodian ladies?

Jo said...

if she was hot, i would have mentioned it...duh!

if she was hot, i would have shared my stories of how i am "doing" with the cambo chicks...duh!

i didn't leave Spore to work in Cambo so that i can fuck cambo chicks. i came here for the experience and the "hardship" allowance. So enuff about asking me about "doing" the cambo chicks!

Some ppl just never learn...

moby sky said...

relak lah jo...he was probably some horny teenage flatunatic trying to get it off while imagining you doing it with some cambo chic. we've all been through that stage before...so just write something like you had hot sex with this damn chio girl can already. haha.

Anonymous said...

U've done the happy pizza; U've done the cambo lap-sap-bar/KTV; u've done the "fear factor" half-evolved/grown duck egg thingy; U've attended your colleague's wedding with a local chick; U've done the low-down thing of buying pirate Lonely Planets for us; U're gonna do a far-out Plain of Jars adventure; U've even managed to fumble in front of a horde of hungry locals; what's a little jiggy-jiggy fun gonna take? It'll only make the flatulence site way cool. Till u know all the holes and backlanes in Phnom Penh inside out.

Anonymous said...

by the way, will the 1st "anonymous" please stand up? cos i ain't him.

cheers mate

Jo said...

1st anonymous might be Melvin

I did not attend my colleague's wedding with a local chick. I went alone (not counting my ahmad who drove me there)...

Buying pirated Lonely Planets are not low-down. It's so "rebel"...makes me feel so "bad"...so whacko jacko...

Lastly, technically I didn't really fumbled, the stoopid emcee fumbled and when falling (metaphorically speaking of course)dragged me into her mess...

Timo said...


1st post was me. The comments page had trouble loading up and it didn't do the identity thing right.

anyways, joe i was asking how you're doing WITH the ladies, as in if you're interested in seeing anyone over there. not "doing" THE ladies.