flat·u·lence 1) The presence of excessive gas in the digestive tract. 2) Self-importance; pomposity.

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Seven Swords Review

It sucked.

I wasn't impressed. Tsui Hark failed to live up to expectations & the hype. Epic, my ass. The film failed on so many aspects:

Warning, spoilers below:

1) Plot & casting.
- Rip-off "Seven Samurai" and modify it by moving the village away from the enemy.
- There was so little background on the Seven Swords....since they were the heros, I think we deserve to know more about them. Donnie Yuen is korean? How did he end up in Tian Shan and learn from the Swordmaster? How come the Chrlie Yuen & horny villager brute get swords also? How come injured old dude with a past get a sword also? Without any back story, it's hard to relate to them.
- Flashbacks are weak and I think the whole movie would be better if it was told linearly.
- What's with the Korean chick subplot? How did she end up as the sexslave for the big bad guy?
- Michael Wong as the government general/official/prince? What a joke man...this eurasian dude can't act & speak proper chinese! All his past movies are crappy! And what's the story behind that cool looking sword he was lusting after?
- Charlie Yeung & Leon Lai hooked up damn fast. Charlie is way too easy already, just teach her some sword moves and she will fall into your arms in the cave...

2) Action sequence all damn hard to follow. Unlike his previous masterpieces (onceuponatimeinchina movies), the action scenes this time are hard to follow. I think he should have adopted a wider angle, to capture the scope of the fights. Then again maybe he wanted to convey a claustrophobic effect.

3) The night scenes are too dim. Then again, the only lighting available that time is the ambient lighting. Maybe he was trying to go for that natural effect.

4) Supposed big bosses die damn easy. The creepy androgynous bad guy (guy or girl) die damn easily... The final boss fight is also disappointing....

Based on this effort, I wouldn't advise another 5 sequels....


timo said...

I just saw half of the movie last night. funniest part of the movie was listening to donnie yuen speak korean. they should have just dubbed it rather than let him sound like a retard~

moby sky said...

jo...i totally agree with you...seven swords sucked big time. i was expecting something of at least "hero"'s standard...but boy, this has to go down as one of the worse chinese movies i've seen in a while...comparable to "house of flying daggers"...and they didn't even have the decency to show the sex scenes so as to at least make this a plotless porn movie. haha.