flat·u·lence 1) The presence of excessive gas in the digestive tract. 2) Self-importance; pomposity.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Soundwave - Ruler of Eternia & the whole mutha-f*ckin Universe

Note: I added a Koi pond on the left column & a playable PAC-MAN game on the right column. Have fun!

Checkout this pair of NIKE AIR Trainer III.

Not to be outdone, REEBOK has
Double Dammmmnnn! VOLTRON!

Anyways, seeing those shoes made me remember my old Transformers toys.

Back in 1986, my mom said if I did well in school, she would buy me anything I wanted. So I studied really hard. So hard that I kicked the whole Primary 3 cohort's ass.

Haha, I was so smart back then...

The school gave me 2 crappy storybooks & a MPH voucher but I wasn't really paying attention. As soon as the prize-giving ceremony was over, I dragged my parents to the toy store and my mom bought me my 1st Transformers toy:

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But wait. Got polo-belem.

Becos it's my 1st Transformers toy, there wasn't any other Autobots (or Decepticons) for my Soundwave to fight. I had a bunch of old He-Man & the Masters of the Universe action figures though. So I did the next best thing: I made up this ridiculous story where Soundwave ended up in the planet of Eternia. Hehe...

The inter-dimensional portal dropped Soundwave right in the middle of Eternia's toughest battle with Snake Mountain. He-Man was leading Eternia's elite against Skeletor & his goons but the war was at a stalemate.


That was the first thing Soundwave said. Then using the shoulder mounted laser & his plasma blaster, Soundwave went apeshit on both Eternia's army & Skeletor's goons. Both armies retreated, most of them lost their arms. (note: the only detachable parts of the figurines were the arms so the arms had to go)

Anyways, Soundwave was liking Eternia. He decided that Cyber-tron sucks and he's sick of taking orders from Megatron. So he took over Castle Grayskull, became the ultimate ruler of Eternia and made Teela, The Sorceress, Evil-Lyn & She-Ra his bitches. (important note: all female figurines belonged to my sister's; really!!!)

Wait a minute... Wat bout He-Man & Skeletor?

Well, Soundwave crushed He-Man's sword arm during Castle Grayskull's last stand. Unable to wield his power sword, He-Man had no more power (duh!). His balls were crushed and he became She-Man, Eternia's first & only ah qua. Might as well, since all the chicks in Eternia aka his girlfriend (Teela), his "mentor" *wink*wink* (the Sorceress), other girlfriend (Evil-Lyn) & half sister (She-Ra), belongs to Soundwave.

Skeletor's sword arm was also crushed (hehehe) and he spent the rest of his life as a court jester, entertaining Soundwave by making crappy black magic tricks with his remaining hand...

With his harem, Soundwave bred an humonguos army of cybernetic hybrid montrosities and invaded Cyber-tron, then Earth & then whole mutha-f*ckin universe.

The End.

O_o !!!

As y'all can see, I was a pretty twisted kid back then...